Two Lives, One Story

Humanity Shared

The other day, while driving my kids to school, we passed by the Houston Mormon Temple, as we always do.  My son, Jordan, asked, “Dad, is that really where you and Mom got married?” I replied, “Yup. That’s the Mormon Temple.” Our family is no longer…

Those I Hurt With My Belief

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It’s been almost 3 years since my wife, Bonnie, and I left Mormonism.  It’s a very difficult and painful process, especially when you are as loud and vocal as I am.  We are still dealing with the aftermath.  We’ve lost friends.  Relationships with our family…

What I’ve Gained By Leaving Mormonism

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I originally wrote this as a Facebook status early this morning, after being reminded/triggered of an experience my wife, Bonnie, and I had less than a year ago.  It was the most traumatic event we’ve faced, yet we survived….. Together.  While we are definitely still…

This Is Love

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Mom, Earlier tonight, I was just on Facebook listening to a mother (around your age) pour her heart out about her feelings of love, inadequacy, desperation, frustration, joy and every emotion in between, as she shared her experience of being a mother of her generation.…

Thank You Mom

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I’m weak. Constantly treading water. Waves crashing.  Winds blowing. Barely able to get my head above to breathe. Something’s pulling me down. It’s me. She’s strong. Crashed her ship. Sank to the bottom. Found strength to swim to the surface. Swam with the sharks, knows…

I’m Weak

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One of the reasons that I decided to go with Barry on his ‘Journey to Enlightenment’ was because of the situation I found myself in when my grandparents left the church 30 years ago.  They had joined a new church because of the new doctrine…

My Son, The Apostate – Part 4

Almost every parent of an adult child who has left Mormonism has one thing in common…  The parent will not listen to or discuss the reasons their adult child left the church, with their adult child.  In my mind, this is the most common reason…

My Son, The Apostate – Part 3

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As I followed Barry’s Facebook and Blog posts, I was shocked by the number of people that made comments who were still feeling disorientated and frustrated because they had been cut off by their family members when they left the church. They left the church…

My Son, The Apostate – Part 2

Barry’s Note – My Dad and I are extremely close.  Believe it or not, my leaving the Mormon Church has made us even closer, even with him being a very active believing Mormon.  How is this possible?  Because my Dad loves me.  It’s that simple.…

My Son, The Apostate – Part 1

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I’ve been struggling lately with people thinking that I have just followed my husband out of the Mormon Church. I have a mind of my own. I have had my own spiritual experiences too. I’m not an idiot or shallow. When Barry told me he…

My Life, My Choice

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Bonnie and I have been married 14 years today.  I Love You Bon! Life with you is….. Precious. You are the one I love. I crave your affection and attention. Life can change in an instant, I will treasure my time with you and our…

Life With You (14 Years And Counting)

Editor’s Note:  I am honored to have a guest post today.  I have gotten to know this incredible person, Jenna Rae, through an online community.  She has her own blog, Diary of a Feminist Slut, which is amazing.  Go Read It.  Wait, read this post…

The Miracle of Forgiveness… Errr….. Victim Blaming

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On October 4, 2014, Mormon Apostle Neil L. Andersen said the following, during LDS General Conference: “We are especially saddened when someone who once revered Joseph retreats from his or her conviction and then maligns the prophet. “Studying the church through the eyes of its…

Attacking the Apostate

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This morning I read this op-ed by Kristy Money, in response to the recent Mormon Church’s essay on Joseph Smith’s practice of polygamy & polyandry.  Kristy is an active member of The LDS Church, who works diligently to help Mormonism progress.  While I decided to leave…

How Weak A Foundation

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Living with someone who has a mental illness can be gut wrenching, at times, because of the love you have for them.  The worst part… when you see them in so much pain, knowing there is very little you can actually do, in that moment.…

Painted Mirrors

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Earlier this week, my wife, Bonnie, sent me a text saying “Look up the song ‘I’d Be Lying’ by Greg Laswell.  It made me think of you.  I love you so much.” So I did… I cried ugly tears while listening to it for 30…

Trust Me, I’ve Got You.

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One of my favorite poems growing up was “Footprints in the Sand.”  Believing that Christ was walking along with me and carrying me during my most trying times was a tremendous comfort.  Now that I no longer believe in God, I still find meaning in…

Our Footprints In The Sand

The Garden of Eden. We know the story well. God creates man. God creates woman from man because man had so much awesomeness that he had a little to spare… a rib. Plus, he needed a companion… errr… someone to bear his children. God puts…

The Fruit Is Delicious And Desirable

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I’m sitting on our therapist’s couch with my wife, Bonnie.  Only 2 feet separate us but it feels like 50, with a chasm in between and no bridge to bring us together.  With tears streaming down her face she’s yelling at me, “GOOD GOD MAN!…

I Choose You, Again.

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Today is our 13th Anniversary!  13 years of laughter, joy, victories, heartache, despair, failures and everything in between.  Our wedding day was supposed to be the most memorable and happy day of our union together but ours had a dark cloud overhead.  Imagine that you’re…

A Pay to Play Wedding

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March 5, 2013  is the day we received the official letter from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints informing us that our request to have our names removed from the records of the church have been processed and approved.  Yes, I said “approved.”…

Our Official Resignation

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Hey this is Bonnie, finally making another post.  I have felt the need to share the woman’s perspective on the pressures we get from the Mormon faith to be perfect.  Just to be fair, this is my own personal experience, though I can assure you…

Mormon Women and Perfectionism

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When someone who’s served a LDS mission leaves the Mormon church, they generally feel an amount of guilt for the people they have shared “the gospel” with and baptized.  My guilt hit me when I was in Chicago on November 6, 2012 (The day President…

Mission Guilt – Using the Pray Now Approach

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“We can’t afford it.” The most-often muttered sentence from my childhood. Be it new shoes, a haircut, a trip to the fair, and often times, even a box of cereal.  The answer was always the same.  I learned by age 5 not to ask for…

The Glory of God Is Intelligence

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A common complaint from Mormons about people like me, who have left the Mormon Church, is “They can leave the church but they can’t leave it alone.”  This comes from Joseph Smith and has been repeated and expounded on by LDS Leaders since then.  Here…

They Can Leave But Can’t Leave It Alone?

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Below is a list of the top logical fallacies and cognitive biases I have encountered lately when discussing Mormonism. Not all the statements are necessarily fallacies in and of themselves but may contain themes that are applicable. Here they are listed in no particular order.…

Logical Fallacies and Cognitive Biases

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I’m still flying high because of the Supreme Court decisions last week on DOMA and Prop 8!  The best article I’ve seen is from the amazing people at Ex-Mormon Mavens.  Please take time to read, it’s incredible.  While I’ve celebrated, I’ve seen plenty of people…

Religious Leaders, Seers and Revelators?

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I wanted to write briefly about how I came to recognize and call my wife’s bipolar disorder The Companion.  This is something I think is important for anyone who deals with or has a loved one who has a mental illness. Bonnie took about a…

Why “The Companion.”

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I just reread Bonnie’s post and I’m crying.  The pain, despair and feelings of helplessness were and are real… for both of us.  Too real, at times.  Watching the woman I loved for more than 7 years deteriorate before my eyes was the hardest thing…

Our New Companion, Bipolar

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Barry’s Note – Prior to Bonnie and I sharing our experiences, I wanted to do a little disclaimer of sorts.  We are sharing our story in hopes that someone can relate and know they aren’t alone.  It’s OK to say you aren’t healthy and need…

My New Companion, Bipolar

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